fake_prophet’s blog

Of time overruns

nobody@vox.com(fake_prophet) — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 22:58:34 -0700

I keep meaning to write in here but I never have the time or the motivation to follow through. This is quite unfortunate.

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Of impending events

nobody@vox.com(fake_prophet) — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 20:17:11 -0700

These things are happening, not in this order:

*3year anniversary at company

*tomato sprouted

*dog obedience training with the pops

*shower and sleep

I run out of time cause I schedule life quite poorly. And now I have a pimple on my forehead that I don't know how to get rid of. Its large. I have some kind of cream that's always shown in commercials with the pretty girls being pretty. You know the one. It comes in 3 different lotions and you have to apply them in a certain order. I can never remember that order. Bah

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Untitled

nobody@vox.com(fake_prophet) — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 20:02:25 -0700

Helped a co-worker find a rather tricky bug in teh codez. Twas a great feeling, but then I remembered how useless this whole thing is and was suddenly not so excited. Still, it is nice to be good at something, anything. It was previously mentioned, but I crave external validations; I want to be told I'm doing a good job. Problem is; I'm not and I can't get anyone to lie to me. I can't let them.

Some distractions later...I need to shower and sleep

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No comments

nobody@vox.com(fake_prophet) — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 20:12:24 -0700

What a waste, I've nothing to say.

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Electricity outrages

nobody@vox.com(fake_prophet) — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 19:59:19 -0700

Had another interruption in electricity. Today was around 100degrees and the power went out. Gah, so frustrating. I can't deal with things like that very well; ended up going to sleep in basement and being upset. Whole evening was ruined. I'm rather inflexible; I can't get over things and I don't react well to changes. Its something that I know is bad and I try to change but its slow going.

I'm starting to sound like today's xkcd comic; world's most boring person. Tis true, I bore myself. Luckily I don't have any readership to appease.

Speaking of outrages, been looking over fb pictures and its like I don't want to look cause I know its gonna make me mad but I can't help it.

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Fish and chips

nobody@vox.com(fake_prophet) — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 20:21:38 -0700

Could not sleep today so I went to the shelter bright and early. Was having a teddible day; 2 dogs got away from me, running around inside the shelter. I wasn't quick enough to get the collar on them. Completely my fault, its lucky that no fights broke out or anything really bad happen. Could have been much worse. Still, I felt like shite about it; that's what happened at the last shelter I worked at and also the reason I got kicked out of there; a dog got out and I got yelled at about it and I stopped coming cause I'm a volunteer, I try my best, and I do not need to be there getting yelled at. I don't want to get kicked out of this shelter, too. Its a standard pattern that I've seen repeat over and over again; I try something new out of desperation, like it a lot, fall in love with it, get tired/bored/sloppy, and quit.

On my way out the director asked me if I wanted to sit for the dog adoption counselor seminar; you need additional training to handle adoptions and I kinda want to do it. That really turned the day around; he's willing to run the class just for me! That means that they value what I do. So maybe I won't get kicked out just yet.

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Quick hits

nobody@vox.com(fake_prophet) — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 22:44:55 -0700

Forrest Griffin's total cage-time was less than his entrance and his leaving times. What's up with that?

A.Silva looked magnificent, although the showboating is getting excessive.

That fight looked almost staged; I'm still trying to figure out what happened.

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Wooden box with your name on it

nobody@vox.com(fake_prophet) — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 19:48:04 -0700

Original plan was to goto the shelter today but I wimped out; if you're going to go, you need to get there early before the morning rush and the heat. Its no fun walking energetic pits in 90degrees or worse. Morning is when they really need people most; the dogs have been in the kennels all night and could really use a walk, the cages are filthy and the regular kennel workers are just now getting around to cleaning them. If no one's there they don't walk them; there's no time.

I overslept; could not bring myself to get up as per the plan. This week has been particularly ruinous and I wanted some sleep. This was the week I spent 12+hours at work to make up for the time that the fios guy was coming by. Saturdays I'm at the shelter anyways so I figured I'd take the Friday off.

Instead, I got the wooden frame done for my super-secret project. I don't have the right equipment at home so I had to get the guys at home depot to cut the wood for me. Ended up pre-drilling the holes and then using standard carpenter nails to hold the planks together. Overall, the frame came out decent for a variant.0 prototype; which is what this is. Total wood supplies: maybe $5? And an hour's worth of work. Now that I know how to do it, I can do it in 15mins. The next prototype will be better.

Tomorrow I go to the shop and get drainage tubing, a couple of motors and maybe put it all together Sunday. Feeling really really good about this cause hay, I'm working with my hands and making something. Tis a great feeling. As mentioned before, my attention span is ridiculously short and so I <3 these multidisciplinary projects where I get to do many different things. Because of my attention span issues, I go through hobbies rather quickly. I never get good at something because once I've mastered the basic principles, I get bored and move on. The flip side of things is that I can do very many diverse things rather poorly. For example, I can assemble/pick locks, write an os/compiler, do a woodcarving, train a dog, operate a dslr in manual and am now learning about drainage and all things plumbery.

Ooh, as an aside, I've found a college surplus store nearby that I will also need to visit. Things I want there: centrifuge,microscope,lab bench. Its been a long time since I've done a project involving microbio/chem....hmm, perhaps after this one's done???

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Mental health days

nobody@vox.com(fake_prophet) — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 19:14:22 -0700

Mental health days; everyone loves them. I took one today. Got to work and just did not feel like working much. That happens a lot to me; when you're so apathetic that you can't even bring yourself to do anything. So I didn't. I call these days my mental health days; these are the days when I'm permitted to do anything I want for myself and feel no guilt about it. Kinda like sick-days except I take them at work. Sick days are mental health days that you take at home, whereas mental health days you take while still charging time at work. They're one step below sick days. Mental health days mean you don't feel good but you've not yet had your breakdown.

Speaking of sick, I'm due for one in a few weeks. Stuff like this is meticulously planned out. I have my sick day scheduled well in advance, with detailed plans on what I"ll be doing. Hint: it involves hiking!

While on a mental health day, one can not physically experience guilt over being such a useless sack of crap. Its against the rules. Whereas all the other days that I sit around do nothing and feel sorry for myself, guilt is allowed and even encouraged.

Today's mental health day involved me reloading tfln constantly and checking up on that cute girl on fb.

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Roommates

nobody@vox.com(fake_prophet) — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 19:46:25 -0700

A friend and his wife want to rent a room from my non-existent condo. Couple of things to decompress here. 1 - that its no longer a friend and his gf, all my friends are now married. I feel ever the more of a fsck-up. 2 - do I want roommates? Had roommates all 4 years of college. Wasn't exactly easy. First 2 were a nightmare cause I lived with a guy with mild-moderate ocd and all kinds of other behavioral abnormalities. He grew out of them over time, but twas too late for me. Most reminded me of myself, which is why I could not stand him. I was pretty much him, except Russian, and angrier. Next 2 years, had 3 roommates; two awesome guys and a douche. I liked living with them although I was continually in self-imposed isolation and pity. I did need a lot of alone-time but that worked out cause they were all the studious types. Only problem was I never really felt comfortable there; like the place wasn't really mine and I was sharing it. I was always scared to bring any guests over there cause what if my roommates are in there? Totally irrational. As a consequence I was always feeling like a prisoner in my own room.

So now we come to today. The options on the table are: move in sans-roommates, move in avec-roommates, not move in at all and rent the place out. But wait, there's a hitch. He wants to know soonish cause he's losing his current domicile. But closing is at least 30days away, probably more. Tentatively, sept.30. The schedule is getting a might compressed. Ideally, I'd have a month or so of solitary living to decide.

Really, the choice is obv. I can wallow in pity and live alone, or accept roommates and change my circumstances. Hmm, I guess I can do nothing and stay home? Decisions, decisions. Who knew that I was gonna move out? I wanted to die in this house, in the basement. I want to be buried in the backyard, underneath the deck.

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